GREEN GOLD 

 

life is so vast
fluent, boundless

picture is reflected
to the outside because
you returned it back to me throuht NOW

I'm scattered around the world

and so centered... I LOVE
lights are turning off into the daylight

moon light chandni

namastei and chai

we are poor  the future
defeated me... it's quicker
than my thought.... I have lost
a lot...... it's become
trivial... I got a lot
of presents from the sky... clouds
were drawn into the blue

she was small... 16 years
of marriage next year ...
the moon got caught in the vail

hiding throught the thin layer
of beauty.... she clothed her memories

in splendour and music
was a woman, covered with
silk and these stairs too high
for us....languages are different

because the world has no limits

I was forgetting tomorrow
and the moment cought me on a
saturday when we prayed

and I bowed to 

that god that I didn't
know  on the way she showed me
her faith and she smiled at me
with her warm eyes  since
happiness is relative... the tree
was real and her language
punjabi that spoke all
dialects of nearness... there was

a web being knitted between us

made of thin, thin golden threads

that were tearing apart

while we were moving on the way and

the journey was risky

since the precipices were becoming

even deeper and the river on the bottom

was comforting me... i was playing

with his fingers  

and he gave me his hair

that fell off... I came

from yestarday to tomorrow and

time has stopped in me

I've lost mornings with him

snow is falling again on me

protecting me from the past

I've become happy inside of

nothingness that was slowly 

entering me, conquering me

forever is never and

everything is nothing like nothing is everything

I give gifts that have no       

shape and are empty without 

flowers and decoration...like

a pile of something old, timid, hidden

spiderweb has engulfed the holidays  

that are as sudden as the
lightning that struck me.......

I wake up looking for myself

in early mornings when the light

is still unawakened, coming
slowly, silently, gently from behind the road

and the fence that is melting with 

my eyes... usha

reminds me of something

that I don't really remember

with me it has become strong

red evening moon is

sometimes anytime from timetotime

during the day it takes her time            

free hour between plus and

minus....mosquitos were     

biting me from morning to morning
and I upgraded my engine to the
maximum so I don't run out of
blood for them.. I was learning

the moment that means everything to us this

moment catch the happiness I have to

lose it together with him so he could have a reason

to come back in a jiffy I was

inside of him and then left alone in

the endless space that

opened up around inside of me where

the good fairy with a pink scarf comforted me, 

huged me like a mother, sister

my spark ignited by

the music of the drums and there 

was a fortune of collected coins 

that completely surrounded me once before 

and I knew the people that 

met me there....I knew them

forever with all my heart and

I went past him unheard

invisible and I heard only the sirens

that were tempting me to steal

something gold from that 

unearthly  place.... marchele

snow is melting on the edge, searching for
the path to my warmth that

is gathering inside of me... rising over and

over, growing the crust and

protecting me as always

as anytime I give up

I'm giving up, letting go, yielding 

because the time in me that I have kept as

a balance between eveything

has got broken.

​

Urša Štrukelj, dec 2003